Like a Duck

While driving today, I began thinking about what all I have going on in my life....and boy do I have a lot going on.  I am a divorced mother of two, full-time employee, full-time Mom (yes that is a J-O-B), church administrator, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a girlfriend (new relationships are work all by themselves) and my list goes on..... 

Which each category of my life, it requires a certain level of dedication, time and committment.  It also, depending on the situation, requires/causes a certain level of stress.  My place of employment may be stressful from time to time but overall it's pretty easy going.  The majority of my friends are great....actually the few friends, real friends I have right now are PERFECT!!  I love them.  They pour into me and support me and I them.  Over the past few years, I have been eliminating uneccesary people from my life.  People who don't add to my value but instead depreciate my worth.  That was a process worth a post of it's own.  Anyway, back to the topic.

Being divorced is not easy....especially when children are involved.  Each parent wants to do their "fair" share and no more.  Unfortunately, when children are involved, their is no such thing as fair share....one parent inevitably ends up doing more.  That brings more stress and more worries.  Someone needs shoes...another one needs field trip money...the other one needs lunch money and school supplies...somebody has outgrown their jeans....all equal stress and worries. 

The point is life is full of stressful circumstances.  Always something to cause me to worry about.  Always a bill or an unexpected something to make me wonder how it's gonna get covered....and wonder what's coming next. 

As I was driving today, I was worrying about a few things.  I debated over calling my Dad and getting his opinion and possibly his help but then decided against it.   Things that are semi-urgent and if not handled soon will negatively impact other areas of my life.   Snowball effect....gotta love it.  The Lord began talking to me and I could hear Him so clearly among the kids laughter and the hum of the radio.  Here's what He shared with me....

Think about ducks.  Ducks.  I often go to feed the ducks at the cemetary where my Mom is buried.  The Lord brought that image to mind.  Ducks appear to just glide across the water....they just glide across the water effortlessly.  Their mind is working and thinking about the next move but they never show it.  Never appear to be worried about wind torrents or waves.  Here's what we don't see.  Under the water, their feet are padlding hard as ever.  Their feet are moving nonstop working hard to get them to their destination. 

Here's the revelation.  I am the duck.  As a Christian, it is my job to go through life as a duck on top of the water.  Things are going to happen....we will always have a destination but what is important is how we arrive to the destination.  What do we do along the journey.  Are we frantic and constantly worrying?  Or are we confident and believing that God will supply all our needs.  We should appear as if we are gliding.  That's not to say we never worry or get upset....we just don't show it.  The angels are the ducks feet.  Here's what blessed me.  The angels are dispatched by God to help us arrive to our destination according to God's Master plan. 

Psalm 91:11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.

Daniel 6:22 My God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions. They have not hurt me, because I was found innocent in his sight. Nor have I ever done any wrong before you, O king."

Matthew 4:11 Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.

Hebrews 1:14 Are they not all ministering spirits, sent forth to minister for them who shall be heirs of salvation?

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Wow...way to make it plain to me!!!!!  It is not my job to worry and stress.  I am a Child of the King.  I am an heir to the throne.  My Father holds every detail of this world in His hand so why should I worry?  No really?  It's like have a bottomless bank acount and wondering how you're going to pay your mortgage.  Awesome.  What an awesome God we serve.

Today, I endeavor to go through life like a duck.  Effortlessly gliding through life's river with my mind focused on my destination...heaven.

be blessed,

msKim30

Count it all joy?

King James Version (KJV)

² My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;

³ Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
⁴ But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

This is my favorite passage of scripture in the entire Bible.  It seems odd to count problems as a good thing.  If I am going through something, the last thing I want to do is say, "Oh yes, my car broke down and I'm certainly glad this happened!!"  Sarcastic yes...but necessary to make my point.  Read The Message transalation.....

 ^2-4Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

That makes me think of my problems in an entirely different way.  I know when I go through a situation, especially at the expense of someone else's hand, I tend to make it about that person.  I point out their immaturity, faults and shortcomings.  I focus on how they did me wrong and why everyone should be mad at them.  It is so easy to place the blame on the other person.  So easy to say what they did to cause my problem.  And then I go through...and boy oh boy do I go through.  Someone asks me how am I doing and I take that as an invitation to explain my life and why its so hard.  You know how we do!!!  Someone smiles and says good morning and we sadly reply, "If you say so...."  Then as soooooon as they can form their lips to ask what's wrong, we are telling who did what to us and why we are the victim.  Or maybe that's just me...some of us have perfected the art of playing professional victim.  Oh ok...back to me...we'll save that for another day...another post.

What I have learned from Brother James here...the test is not about the growth of the other person.  It's all about me!!!!!!!!!  What!!!!  Yes, it's all about me.  This is happening to me because clearly, God, who promised to sustain us (Psalms 55:22), knows that I can handle it. God knows I need to go through this so I can be confident that He can handle this.  God has it all under control and He's making me better.  As Paul declared in Romans 8:28, "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." 

So if all things work together for my good, then I should have no problem counting it all joy.  Each problem is only strengthening my faith in God.  It's only making me become that much more dependant on Him....trust Him more....believe on Him more.  I want my faith to get to the point where I can be like the Shunamite Woman who declared, "It is Well" as she held her dead son.  Now that's some serious faith.  That's where I want to be in God though....that no matter what it looks like to me, I can trust the eyes of God.  I know my eyesight is limited and the images I see are tainted with life experience and emotion....but through the eyes of God...God who created the world.  God who looked through the sands of time and saw me.  God who knew me even before I was formed in the womb of my mother.  I trust the eyes of God.

I believe that's where God wants us to be.  He doesn't want us to fall to pieces at every test and trial.  Instead in the midst of every storm give thanks (I Thess 5:18).  The car won't start, Lord I thank You I have the means to put it in the shop.  The kids need shoes, again...Lord, I don't have it right now, but I thank You because I know You will provide all my needs according to Your riches in glory (Phil 4:19).  Lord, my money is low and my needs are high.  I am not worried because I have been diligent in paying my tithes so I am standing in great anticpation of my blessing (Malachi 3:10).

When it rains, its never just one raindrop but always many.  Trials are the same way.  Tests come at us from all sides.  Count it all joy and know that God is with you.  He will keep you but you have to trust Him.  He has the master plan.

be blessed,

msKim30

 

Where Does God Fit In?

So this morning I wake up around 4 AM and remember I have to put the boys' clothes in the dryer if I want them to have something to wear to camp today.  Sleepily, I climb out of bed, tell the dog to move and trudge down the stairs to the basement.  As I take the clothes from the washer to the dryer, I glance at the 2 baskets of clothing they can no longer fit.  I make a mental note to give those items to the goodwill.  After starting the dryer, I make my way back up the stairs to resume my rightful place under my blanket for another hour of blissful sleep. 

I meant to wake up at 5:45...who knows if the alarm went off or not.  I actually woke up at 6:47.  Frantic, I jump out of bed, tell the dog to move, peep in on my children...oh no, one of them is awake, I say good morning, get up go to the bathroom, brush your teeth and let's get started.  I'm going to get your clothes out of the dryer and praying they are dry (I didn't empty the lint tray).  My son gets up and tells me he thought I was still asleep so he didn't bother me.  How sweet and considerate.  Lol...cute kids I have.  I run down to the basement, gather their clothes and run back up the steps.  The rest of the morning goes something like this..."Get up, brush your teeth, get your shoes, why don't you have on socks, boy you need to wear underwear, I said get up, your shirt is on inside out, why are you still in the bed, yes you have to brush your teeth again today, get your lunch, no you cannot take a toy to camp, I can see the airplane sticking out of your pocket, good job for getting your shoes, c'mon I'm ready to go....." 

Well, 7:35 we're out the house and in the car....not bad for waking up an hour late.  So we're in the car and on our way.  A few minutes of worship in the car with Jason Nelson while en route to dropping the kids off to camp.  They're gone and now on my way to work.  I'm not really listening to the CD because I'm trying to get to work by 8:15.  Whew...I had to speed and cut a few folks off but I made it.  Get to my desk , log on to the network, go get breakfast, say grace, eat....and now repent.

One of the first Bible verses I learned as a child was Proverbs 3:6, "In all thy ways, acknowledge Him; and He shall direct thy paths."  The next was, "Train up a child in the way that he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6). 

I ask myself, what did I teach my children this morning?  I used to wake up and have prayer every morning at 5 AM....my son would sometimes hear me praying and come join me.  I have gotten away from that....probably because the Lord started answering my prayers....and probably why He has stopped.  Wow...right back to that "comfortable place".  These past few weeks, I have taught my children to wake up late, rush and fuss.  Where does God fit in?  And although I pray throughout the day, I miss my morning talks with the Lord and I'm, sure He does too.  Something about talking to Him while the earth is quiet before the business of the days pollutes the air and He becomes an afterthought.  I don't want that for myself or my family. 

O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is. (Psalms 63:1)

 My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up.  (Psalms 5:3)

I am grateful God is forgiving and doesn't hold grudges.  He is still standing with arms wide open, saying, "Come unto me..."  I'm going, will you join me?


be blessed,

msKim30

Comfortable Places

The definition of comfortable is relaxed, feeling comfort or ease, free from stress or anxiety.  Uncomfortable is the exact opposite - experiencing physical discomfort. 2. Ill at ease; uneasy. 3. Causing anxiety; disquieting.  I have been fortunate enough to be pretty comfortable in life.  My parents provided well for my siblings and I.  We probably had too much were others didn't have enough.  Not that we were rich but we were well taken care of children.

Comfortable extended over into my adult life.  I went after the best jobs to maintain my "comfortable" level of living.  I bought a car as soon as I was financially able.  I acquired my own place to live to establish my own definition of comfort.  I went out to eat, shopped and enjoyed life to show others how comfortable I was in life.  At times, I even splurged on my friends. 

I was comfortable in my relationships.  I took what I could without reciprocating.  I depended on others without being dependable...the object of affection without being affectionate.  But that was comfortable for me....and that's what mattered.  I was what mattered

My comfort even extended over to church.  I was comfortable going to church on Sunday...that was expected of me.  I was comfortable singing on the choir, leading praise and worship, ushering, serving and doing all that was physically required of me...while I was there.  Comfortable.   I was at ease doing the bare minimum.  Taking care of myself.  Making sure my needs were being met.  Sounds a little conceited.  Hmmm....so dare I venture to say being comfortable is equivalent of being conceited.  It is kinda vain to only think of yourself.  Oh ok.  So add vanity to my list of charges. 

Exodus 16:3

New King James Version (NKJV)

³ And the children of Israel said to them, “Oh, that we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the pots of meat and when we ate bread to the full! For you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger.”

The children of Israel had become comfortable in what was really an uncomfortable situation.  What?  Where did that spin come from.  There situation was no different from mine.  I was living in sin.  I was living comfortably in an uncomfortable situation.  I just didn't realize it.  Similar to the prodigal son when he left home to squander his wealth on riotous living.  He was comfortable until his money ran out.  I was comfortable until things began happening.  I had a car accident because I had my priorities out of order.  I placed a man ahead of God, work and myself.  It nearly cost me my life.  I began losing things around me.  I lost my apartment (I don't even know how).  My Mom passed away and although that wasn't a result of my "comfortable" actions, she too was a comfort level for me so maybe indirectly it was.  I knew if I broke it, she would fix it.  And that was the turning point for me.  At that moment, I became the prodigal son in the pig's pen. 

God is calling us from our comfortable places in life.  He wants us to completely depend on Him in our everyday living.  He allows our actions to create uncomfortable situations until we yield to His will for our lives.  Psalms 118:8 declares, "It is better to trust in the Lord, than to put confidence in man."  It seems it would be a rather easy choice.  God owns everything and has the power to unleash our every dream.  Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the thoughts I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."  Psalms 37:4 - "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give thee the desires of your heart."  

All we have to do is trust God.  He will do the rest.  I have learned not to become complacent but to continue to seek after God.  Continue to press toward the mark...continue to trust in the Lord....continue to believe that all things are working together for my good....continue to count all things joy...continue to pray Lord let Your will be done.  Stay away from comfortable living...God has so much more in store.  Our Heavenly Father doesn't want us to live comfortably...He wants us to live abundantly (John 10:10)!!

be blessed,

msKim30