Cleaning Out...

Today, I spent several hours cleaning.  My house is generally neat and orderly (as much as it can be with 3 young boys) but today, I cleaned the corners and closets.  I just got tired of looking at neatly stacked, organized JUNK!  I threw away STUFF.  Things I have been holding onto for no apparent reason.  STUFF.  Junk accumulated over the years...things I packed and moved from house to house.  Baggage unnecessarily taking up valuable space in my home. Rubbish once holding a meaningful place in my life but now outgrown. 

As I'm throwing away bags and bags of stuff, my corners are clearer and my closets empty.  I can actually place the things that belong there inside. 

So what am I harboring spiritually and mentally?  What thoughts, people, places are holding real estate and are long overdue eviction notices?   

The Bible encourages us to lay aside every weight and sin.  We so easily focus on the sin....those are the obvious transgressions.  Weight is heavy.  It's burdensome.  It slows you down.  Weight is also sneaky.  Nobody goes to bed and wakes up obese.  It occurs over time.  Just like the stuff in my corners. Time to unload....unpack...throw out...get rid of...declutter.   Throw it out.  Let it go! 

God help me to declutter the corners or my mind and heart.  Help me to clear those spaces so you can live there.  Walk through my heart and remove things I've been holding onto.  Things holding me back from completely being YOURS.  Thank you for loving me and my junk.  Thank you for loving me enough to take the junk from me.  I'm yours...totally and completely. 

Where is the reset button?

So, this morning, I wake up and remember my 2nd grader has a project due today.  His "All About Me."  Fairly simple, right.  Right.  I wake up my sons and send my oldest of to the shower while we start on this project.  Did I mention I woke up late?  Oh, ok.  So we're at the table working on this project, printing pictures, coloring and gluing.  After about 20 minutes, we produced a final project that he was proud of.

Fast forward to my oldest who has gotten out of the shower and back into the bed.  In my attempt to remain calm and speak in low tones, I say, "Darnell, I need you to get up and get dressed."  He sleepily gets dressed and moves toward the bathroom to brush his teeth.  Poor thing.  I know the feeling, I too want to crawl back into bed.

But determined to get my kids off to school on a good foot, I press forward.  The big boys are dressed and I am scrambling to find something both clean and accommodating of my current size.  I get dressed, clean the baby and we're out the door.  My big boys are eating Chef Boyardee warm-ups for breakfast (don't judge me).  A little later than I'd like but still not terrible.  In the car and now for a morning devotional with the boys.  I start the song.  Chris Tomlin begins..."water You turned into wine, opened the eyes..." I make a u-turn. Derek screams.  Red tomato sauce is all over his new shirt, shorts and the cloth interior of the car. 

Stop the car.  I can't lose it.  I no longer feel like singing, "Our God is greater...."  Sometimes, I feel defeated and sometimes, I concede and wave the white flag.  I make another u-turn and go back home.  A quick wardrobe change for my son and a quick prayer for me. 

Back in the car.  No devotional.  Let's get on with our day.  I'm praying but I'm still frustrated because now I'm off schedule.  Is God not still greater?

It's in these moments I'm learning how to teach my children important lessons of life. Mistakes happen. It wasn't malicious and it wasn't his fault. No fussing from me this morning.  These are the moments, I want my children to see God getting the glory out of every area of my life.  Yes God, you are still greater!!  Back to Chris Tomlin..  "Our God is greater, our God is stronger..." is now belting from the speakers.

God is too great of a God to be tossed aside because of spilled tomato sauce or a late start.  Do I really want my children to toss aside their special "God time" because of a missed shot in basketball, or a misspelled word on a test?  Do I want them to think it is ok to be mad and not talk to God?  Absolutely not!!!  These are the times when God is needed most.  God uses these bloopers in life to teach us to lean on Him. 

Lord, give me a little more patience and help me to see my children are not adults.  Help me to remain dedicated to sharing Your Word with my sons even during frustrating moments.  In my moments of frustration, help me to lean on You for direction, guidance and peace.  Give me the words to build my sons up in love.  Help us all to make better choices.  Get the glory out of our lives.

"Turst in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

Amen

What areas are you struggling with to allow God to be victorious in?  How will you make a conscious decision to set aside frustration and focus on the greatness of our God?

Relinquishing Control

It's been a long time since I have been on here.

I am reading this devotional on YouVersion entitled, "Who Controls You?".  A few things jumped out at me.  The Lord has a way of getting our attention and turning our hearts back to Him.  True, we should have no reason to venture from Him but being the humans we are, sometimes our flesh gets the best of us.  It's a struggle.  Paul acknowledge it when he penned "When I would do good, evil is present on every hand...." (Romans 7:21).  So is that an excuse to fall...I mean haven't we all fell short of the glory?  Absolutely not.  As Christians we compelled to mark the perfect man (Psalms 37:37).  Anyway back to my orginal topic. 

I realized we are all controlled by something.  Our bosses control our paychecks.  Parents control the boundaries/activities of children.  Our hearts control our actions.  Our mind controls our hearts...or vice versa?  Our minds controls our actions and our hearts control our minds.  Does God have any control?  Does the devil?  Does our spouse or partner?  Do our children control us?  Do we have self-control for the areas we know we are weak in?

Proverbs 25:28 says, “Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.”

Personal reflection:

I have allowed things to control me.  I have allowed my children to control me...I have allowed relationships to control me...I have allowed love to control me...I have allowed friends to control me...I have allowed wants and desires to control me.  Does this mean I am weak?  I don't think so.  It means I am human.  It also means I need to stop and re-focus.  I am drawn to the scripture Psalms 37:4, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." 

My children are very well taken care of....I realize them going without the latest DS video game does not equate to them going "without".  Relationships well.....in the Lord's time.  Friends...my circle has drastically decreased and for me that's good.  Less birthdays to remember.  But seriously, as an adult, I see the need for surrounding myself with like-minded individuals.  People who have a genuine heart for God...if they love God first, I know loving me will be easy.  My wants and desires....oh yeah, if I delight myself in the Lord...ok so there's the answer to that.

Lord, forgive me for allowing things to control.  I have been distracted and I am sorry.  It is my sincere goal to follow You and walk in Your truths.  I ask You to help me remain focused on You.  I trust You completely with everything I am and all that I have.  I would be nothing and have nothing without You.  I thank You for being the God that You are...gracious, merciful and loving.  Help me to love You as much as You love me.  I know that is not possible considering the sacrifice You made, but I want to try.  You gave Your life for me, I give You my life in return.  In Jesus' Name, Amen

Great devotional today.  I challenge you to evaluate your life.  Today, I allow God's word to control me.  Will you?

~ msKim
 

Disconnected

This morning as I often do most days, I walked to the cafeteria to get breakfast.  I spoke to about 10 people in passing.  I greeted them all with a smile and "Hi, how are you?"  I received empty hellos back and some fake fine, thank yous.  Are people reflecting what they see?  Whoa, slap me in the face why don't you?

What happened to our sincerity?  Have we become so consumed in ourselves that we lost our love for our brother/sister?  I watch people become so engaged in their phones just to avoid speaking to someone in the hallway.  We've all been there.  All of sudden the office weirdo is walking towards you and your phone or your pen or a string hanging becomes soooooooooooooooooo important that you didn't see him/her walk past.  I know I'm guilty. 

I do it but it's not right.  When I smile and ask someone how they are doing, I really want to know.  My smile may be the only one he/she receives.  I may be the needed ear to thwart a terrible outcome.  Who knows...I want to be more sincere toward people.  I want to genuinely care about others...not just those inside my circle.

Today, I endeavour to ask someone how they are doing and listen for a response.  I don't want to be disconnected and give empty greetings or show false love.  What if Jesus treated us that way?  What if when He saw us kneeling to pray, he turned another corner on the streets of Heaven?  What if when we called out to Him, He turned the angels up so He couldn't hear us?  Or when He did listen to us, He was always preoccupied with something else, essentially not really listening to us at all?

Lord, forgive me in my disconnect with others and more importantly, my disconnect from You.  Forgive me and help me to show love to everyone as I follow Your example.  Help me to show others that I care and I am genuine in my concern for them.  Thank You for not disconnecting yourself from us.

~msKim

Like a Duck

While driving today, I began thinking about what all I have going on in my life....and boy do I have a lot going on.  I am a divorced mother of two, full-time employee, full-time Mom (yes that is a J-O-B), church administrator, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a girlfriend (new relationships are work all by themselves) and my list goes on..... 

Which each category of my life, it requires a certain level of dedication, time and committment.  It also, depending on the situation, requires/causes a certain level of stress.  My place of employment may be stressful from time to time but overall it's pretty easy going.  The majority of my friends are great....actually the few friends, real friends I have right now are PERFECT!!  I love them.  They pour into me and support me and I them.  Over the past few years, I have been eliminating uneccesary people from my life.  People who don't add to my value but instead depreciate my worth.  That was a process worth a post of it's own.  Anyway, back to the topic.

Being divorced is not easy....especially when children are involved.  Each parent wants to do their "fair" share and no more.  Unfortunately, when children are involved, their is no such thing as fair share....one parent inevitably ends up doing more.  That brings more stress and more worries.  Someone needs shoes...another one needs field trip money...the other one needs lunch money and school supplies...somebody has outgrown their jeans....all equal stress and worries. 

The point is life is full of stressful circumstances.  Always something to cause me to worry about.  Always a bill or an unexpected something to make me wonder how it's gonna get covered....and wonder what's coming next. 

As I was driving today, I was worrying about a few things.  I debated over calling my Dad and getting his opinion and possibly his help but then decided against it.   Things that are semi-urgent and if not handled soon will negatively impact other areas of my life.   Snowball effect....gotta love it.  The Lord began talking to me and I could hear Him so clearly among the kids laughter and the hum of the radio.  Here's what He shared with me....

Think about ducks.  Ducks.  I often go to feed the ducks at the cemetary where my Mom is buried.  The Lord brought that image to mind.  Ducks appear to just glide across the water....they just glide across the water effortlessly.  Their mind is working and thinking about the next move but they never show it.  Never appear to be worried about wind torrents or waves.  Here's what we don't see.  Under the water, their feet are padlding hard as ever.  Their feet are moving nonstop working hard to get them to their destination. 

Here's the revelation.  I am the duck.  As a Christian, it is my job to go through life as a duck on top of the water.  Things are going to happen....we will always have a destination but what is important is how we arrive to the destination.  What do we do along the journey.  Are we frantic and constantly worrying?  Or are we confident and believing that God will supply all our needs.  We should appear as if we are gliding.  That's not to say we never worry or get upset....we just don't show it.  The angels are the ducks feet.  Here's what blessed me.  The angels are dispatched by God to help us arrive to our destination according to God's Master plan. 

Psalm 91:11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.

Daniel 6:22 My God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions. They have not hurt me, because I was found innocent in his sight. Nor have I ever done any wrong before you, O king."

Matthew 4:11 Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.

Hebrews 1:14 Are they not all ministering spirits, sent forth to minister for them who shall be heirs of salvation?

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Wow...way to make it plain to me!!!!!  It is not my job to worry and stress.  I am a Child of the King.  I am an heir to the throne.  My Father holds every detail of this world in His hand so why should I worry?  No really?  It's like have a bottomless bank acount and wondering how you're going to pay your mortgage.  Awesome.  What an awesome God we serve.

Today, I endeavor to go through life like a duck.  Effortlessly gliding through life's river with my mind focused on my destination...heaven.

be blessed,

msKim30

Count it all joy?

King James Version (KJV)

² My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;

³ Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
⁴ But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

This is my favorite passage of scripture in the entire Bible.  It seems odd to count problems as a good thing.  If I am going through something, the last thing I want to do is say, "Oh yes, my car broke down and I'm certainly glad this happened!!"  Sarcastic yes...but necessary to make my point.  Read The Message transalation.....

 ^2-4Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

That makes me think of my problems in an entirely different way.  I know when I go through a situation, especially at the expense of someone else's hand, I tend to make it about that person.  I point out their immaturity, faults and shortcomings.  I focus on how they did me wrong and why everyone should be mad at them.  It is so easy to place the blame on the other person.  So easy to say what they did to cause my problem.  And then I go through...and boy oh boy do I go through.  Someone asks me how am I doing and I take that as an invitation to explain my life and why its so hard.  You know how we do!!!  Someone smiles and says good morning and we sadly reply, "If you say so...."  Then as soooooon as they can form their lips to ask what's wrong, we are telling who did what to us and why we are the victim.  Or maybe that's just me...some of us have perfected the art of playing professional victim.  Oh ok...back to me...we'll save that for another day...another post.

What I have learned from Brother James here...the test is not about the growth of the other person.  It's all about me!!!!!!!!!  What!!!!  Yes, it's all about me.  This is happening to me because clearly, God, who promised to sustain us (Psalms 55:22), knows that I can handle it. God knows I need to go through this so I can be confident that He can handle this.  God has it all under control and He's making me better.  As Paul declared in Romans 8:28, "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." 

So if all things work together for my good, then I should have no problem counting it all joy.  Each problem is only strengthening my faith in God.  It's only making me become that much more dependant on Him....trust Him more....believe on Him more.  I want my faith to get to the point where I can be like the Shunamite Woman who declared, "It is Well" as she held her dead son.  Now that's some serious faith.  That's where I want to be in God though....that no matter what it looks like to me, I can trust the eyes of God.  I know my eyesight is limited and the images I see are tainted with life experience and emotion....but through the eyes of God...God who created the world.  God who looked through the sands of time and saw me.  God who knew me even before I was formed in the womb of my mother.  I trust the eyes of God.

I believe that's where God wants us to be.  He doesn't want us to fall to pieces at every test and trial.  Instead in the midst of every storm give thanks (I Thess 5:18).  The car won't start, Lord I thank You I have the means to put it in the shop.  The kids need shoes, again...Lord, I don't have it right now, but I thank You because I know You will provide all my needs according to Your riches in glory (Phil 4:19).  Lord, my money is low and my needs are high.  I am not worried because I have been diligent in paying my tithes so I am standing in great anticpation of my blessing (Malachi 3:10).

When it rains, its never just one raindrop but always many.  Trials are the same way.  Tests come at us from all sides.  Count it all joy and know that God is with you.  He will keep you but you have to trust Him.  He has the master plan.

be blessed,

msKim30

 

Where Does God Fit In?

So this morning I wake up around 4 AM and remember I have to put the boys' clothes in the dryer if I want them to have something to wear to camp today.  Sleepily, I climb out of bed, tell the dog to move and trudge down the stairs to the basement.  As I take the clothes from the washer to the dryer, I glance at the 2 baskets of clothing they can no longer fit.  I make a mental note to give those items to the goodwill.  After starting the dryer, I make my way back up the stairs to resume my rightful place under my blanket for another hour of blissful sleep. 

I meant to wake up at 5:45...who knows if the alarm went off or not.  I actually woke up at 6:47.  Frantic, I jump out of bed, tell the dog to move, peep in on my children...oh no, one of them is awake, I say good morning, get up go to the bathroom, brush your teeth and let's get started.  I'm going to get your clothes out of the dryer and praying they are dry (I didn't empty the lint tray).  My son gets up and tells me he thought I was still asleep so he didn't bother me.  How sweet and considerate.  Lol...cute kids I have.  I run down to the basement, gather their clothes and run back up the steps.  The rest of the morning goes something like this..."Get up, brush your teeth, get your shoes, why don't you have on socks, boy you need to wear underwear, I said get up, your shirt is on inside out, why are you still in the bed, yes you have to brush your teeth again today, get your lunch, no you cannot take a toy to camp, I can see the airplane sticking out of your pocket, good job for getting your shoes, c'mon I'm ready to go....." 

Well, 7:35 we're out the house and in the car....not bad for waking up an hour late.  So we're in the car and on our way.  A few minutes of worship in the car with Jason Nelson while en route to dropping the kids off to camp.  They're gone and now on my way to work.  I'm not really listening to the CD because I'm trying to get to work by 8:15.  Whew...I had to speed and cut a few folks off but I made it.  Get to my desk , log on to the network, go get breakfast, say grace, eat....and now repent.

One of the first Bible verses I learned as a child was Proverbs 3:6, "In all thy ways, acknowledge Him; and He shall direct thy paths."  The next was, "Train up a child in the way that he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6). 

I ask myself, what did I teach my children this morning?  I used to wake up and have prayer every morning at 5 AM....my son would sometimes hear me praying and come join me.  I have gotten away from that....probably because the Lord started answering my prayers....and probably why He has stopped.  Wow...right back to that "comfortable place".  These past few weeks, I have taught my children to wake up late, rush and fuss.  Where does God fit in?  And although I pray throughout the day, I miss my morning talks with the Lord and I'm, sure He does too.  Something about talking to Him while the earth is quiet before the business of the days pollutes the air and He becomes an afterthought.  I don't want that for myself or my family. 

O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is. (Psalms 63:1)

 My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up.  (Psalms 5:3)

I am grateful God is forgiving and doesn't hold grudges.  He is still standing with arms wide open, saying, "Come unto me..."  I'm going, will you join me?


be blessed,

msKim30